In a new interview and article, Theresa Marchetta, Investigative Reporter for Denver ABC-TV station, KMGH-TV reports on the steps you need to take to protect your children from becoming victims of bullies and of principals and district administrators who won’t stop taunting, teasing, harassment, bullying and abuse. Of course, if your wonderful principal protects your children, your two tasks are still to:
- Enhance your children’s inner strength, courage, determination, perseverance, resilience.
- Support your principal who may be putting his/her job on the line.
But if you’re faced with a “blame the victim; avoid the bully” or a do-nothing principal, you’ll have to become strong and skilled in your children’s defense.
Some key steps mentioned in the article are:
- Think of “Relentless bullies as predators. They are not going to stop and will do it over and over again. I have to let my child know I am going to help protect you. I don't want my kid to be a suicide, so I’m willing to fight.”
- “My first action is with my children. I want to let them know they are being targeted, but I won't let them be victims. I want to build their strength, their character and their willingness to do something to protect themselves.”
- “Second, I'm going to bring it to the school.”
- “Request a meeting with the school principal…I expect that principal to meet with you the next day, the day after -- that fast.”
- “To prepare for that meeting, parents must bring any evidence of the bullying including hate notes, e-mails, texts, pictures and any details of the child’s story.”
- If you cannot stay calm, bring someone who can. “If you're not calm you'll be targeted as the angry parent throwing a fit.”
- “Does the bullying stop? I'll give them a week or a day depending on how bad it is…My tests are, is the bully separated to another part of the room or is the bully allowed access to my child? Is my child the one who is kicked out of class or is my child protected?...If your child, the victim, is the one having to make changes, that is a red flag.”
- If the situation is not resolved quickly, take the case directly to the district superintendent and the school board.”
- If the responsible adults don’t resolve the situation, “Your next step is that you have to up-level. You have to get a lawyer. You have to think publicity…You've got to be willing to go right to that level. When the people who should be protecting our children are fired and sued successfully, it will change.”
We all know the consequences of not stopping bullies and of allowing them continued contact with their targets, the bullying and violence will increase.
Principals who avoid the issue make the targeted children feel helpless and that their situation is hopeless. It starts them down the path to being victims for life. It destroys self-confidence and self-esteem. It stimulates anxiety, stress, guilt, negativity and self-mutilation. It starts children toward isolation, depression and suicide.
Remember, all tactics depend on the situation – the people and the circumstances. So we must plan tactics that are appropriate to us and to the situation.
If your children are the targets of bullies and school officials who aren’t protecting them, you need to take charge. With expert coaching and consulting, we can become strong and skilled enough to overcome principals and other officials who won’t do what’s right.
“How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks” and “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids,” have many examples of children and adults commanding themselves and then stopping bullies. For more personalized coaching call me at 877-8Bullies (877-828-5543).