Life can give us hard times and bad deals, including some that aren’t caused by our stupidity, ignorance or narcissism. But we can’t let ourselves be bullied by life or self-bullied by our mind’s fears, weakness or poor thinking. We mustn’t give up.
I saw a video on and with Zach Sobiech and his family. Zach was diagnosed with cancer as a young teenager and finally died as a high school senior. In addition to his real, “reality show,” there’s also a video of a wonderful song he wrote and performed, “Clouds.”
There’s nothing we can say to him or his family or his girl-friend or his friends that will make his dying okay.
We can see in the video how important it is:
- For us to live each day with as much zest and passion as possible in the face of impending death.
- That we don’t wait until death seems imminent in order to start living right now.
- That we don’t give in to any internal or external voices encouraging us to get depressed or commit suicide.
I heard discouraging voices say, “But his family got discouraged and fell apart and cried off camera.” And I say, “So what?” They don’t have to never suffer. Suffering is only suffering. Tears are only tears. We feel deeply and we still do what is needful. Suffering doesn’t get in the way.
Our culture is full of examples of people who didn’t give up; who fought on against the vicissitudes of life and of some who even succeeded in creating wonderful lives after their times of torment and torture. Ayan Hirsi Ali, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, and Tevya Bielski spring to my mind. There are thousands of others. We also have those not-famous ones in our heritage – our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual heritage. Among many; my maternal grandmother whose oldest child was killed by a drunk driver.
Alan Bucknam of Notchcode Creative Services posted this quote on his Facebook page:
Maya Angelou's advice to her daughters: "I would say you might encounter many defeats but you must never be defeated, ever. In fact, it might even be necessary to confront defeat. It might be necessary, to get over it, all the way through it, and go on. I would teach her to laugh a lot. Laugh a lot at the — at the silliest things and be very, very serious. I’d teach her to love life, I can bet you that."
Another favorite of mine: the sign on the Bridge to Terabithia, “Nothing Crushes Us!”
In addition to standing up to those little voices most of us have, we must educate our children and grandchildren to the ways of the real world and the need for them to have undaunted spirits; to be invulnerable.
Instead of giving your kids lies, give your kids the courage, strength and resilience they’ll need so they don’t take the tragedies of life to heart, so they don’t feel helpless and hopeless.
The best way to stop self-bullying or being beaten down by life is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching so you can:
- Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to do your best resolutely, diligently and effectively, and to set boundaries effectively.
- Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create a bully-free personal life.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert coaching by phone or Skype.