When I go into a workplace to train or consult, I ask: “Who are the bullies?” If people say, “We don’t know” or “We haven’t had any ever,” they’re probably in trouble.
When I talk with principals, counselors and teachers in a school, I ask, “Who are the bullies and where in the school do they bully?” If the answer is, “We don’t know” or “We’ve never had any,” they’re probably in trouble.
When I counsel or coach people about their personal and family lives, I ask, “Who are the bullies and what have you done about it?” If the answer is, “There are no bullies in our extended family” or “It’s not so bad” or “That’s just the way they are,” I know they’re in trouble. They’re probably minimizing or excusing the behavior and damage, or covering it up (family secrets).
In any group of about 30 people, there’s at least one person who uses bullying tactics. Often, that bully has created a clique or mob. In addition to my experience, there are even studies showing that.
Some people are aghast that I ask those questions. They say, “Won’t the label stigmatize those people?” Of course, the answer is that they are already stigmatized. Everyone knows who the bullies are.
Also stigmatized already are the supposed responsible authorities who ignore, condone or even encourage harassment, negativity, bullying and abuse. Everyone know who allows bullying to continue, who gives bullies space and power to do their worst.
The first step to protect the targets is to expose and label bullying behavior and the perpetrators and predators. The second step is to change the situation.
The best way to learn how to create a bully-free environment is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:
- Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
- Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert coaching by phone or Skype.