Cowards die a thousand deaths, the brave die only once. Don’t give in to supervisors or coworkers who try to bully you.
Some bullies have obvious strategies for getting their way - threatening, harassing or attacking behavior designed to cower you. The most pervasive forms of bullying, however, are done by people who violate social codes.
To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
Stop Subtle Office Bullies Before They Kick You Around
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1997/04/14/smallb8.html
These subtle bullies rummage through your desk, letters and e-mail, listen to your phone calls, get jealous if they’re not included in everything, belittle you in a seemingly humorous way, spread gossip, negativity and/or sarcasm, give the silent treatment, ignore your pressures and deadlines, trample the boundary between professional friendliness and personal intimacy, and create cliques that subvert teamwork.
These insidious behaviors usually go unchecked because they are not recognized as bullying. People live with their hurt, irritation, frustration and anger because what bothers them are violations of unwritten, supposedly personal codes, not written rules.
If you advertise that you’re hesitant or afraid, if you whine or if you suffer in silence, every bully in the neighborhood knows that there’s a victim waiting to be taken advantage of.
Coping starts when you label these tactics as bullying in order to mobilize yourself into taking effective action. Protect your boundaries and standards; your personal ecology in your personal space.
Set team standards about privacy, space, turf, possessions, interruptions, punctuality, gossip, sarcasm, negativity, and boundaries between professional life and personal life.
The personal agendas of pathological bullies are more important to them than the goals or processes of the team. They have many strategies to keep you from maintaining your standards.
Appeasement is never effective with determined bullies. They’re boundary pushers who always want more.
If you’re consistent, resilient and persevering, these people may find easier prey elsewhere - or the whole team may close ranks against them.
Your peace of mind is essential. Face your hesitations and fears. Do what’s good for yourself, your tasks and your team. Have courage, have hope, have a plan. Be the hero of your life.
The best way to stop harassment, negativity and subtle bullying is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.
Design and implement an effective plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes. To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.