The short autobiography below captures many parts of the recovery from trauma perpetrated by bullies and narcissists.
Bullies and narcissists usually cause complex trauma and stress by:
- Overt intimidation. Adults have control and power over children. Their relentless mental, emotional, physical and spiritual negativity, criticism and abuse leaves scars. The threat of being destroyed is ever-present.
- Sneaky Bullying. They manipulate, guilt-trip, back-stab and lie. They never believe us when we complain about our treatment. They mock us and put us down, while saying they’re just kidding. They use emotional blackmail words, saying we’re over-sensitive, have no sense of humor, are unloving, uncaring, selfish and arrogant. They say we owe them and we’re bullying them.
Self-Bullying.
We carry their words in our heads as self-bullying. We continue to suppress our “Inner Knowing,” our “Accurate Intuition,” our “Gut Wisdom,” like they trained us to do. We repeat the old self-doubt and lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. We stop ourselves because “They might be right. How do we know for sure?”
They want to convince us resistance is futile.
They want us to give up because they’ll never give up. Their bullying seems like a matter of life or death to them. When we’re children, resistance might be futile but since we’re adults now we can become free in our minds and hearts, and free physically and financially.
They want to use us as slaves or servants because:
- Slaves and servants do all the work and masters don’t have to pay them much.
- Slaves and servants have no lives of their own. They’re supposed to be standing at alert; ready at any moment to respond to their masters’ wishes.
- Slaves and servants are supposed to smile and laugh when their masters beat them for any whim or reason.
- Slaves and servants can be useful for a long time and then discarded whenever bullies want.
We have power over ourselves and, therefore, we can create an Isle of Song for ourselves.
I hope this short autobiography makes you laugh with recognition of part of the path of recovery you’ve taken.
Recovery: An Autobiography in Five Chapters - Anonymous
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in, again.
I can’t believe I’m in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out…
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I fall in…it’s a habit…but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down a different street.
Of course, there are many complications depending on your situation. The best way to learn how to take power in your life and to be the person you want to be is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:
- Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
- Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert counseling and coaching by phone or Skype.