Stop School Bullies with Anti-Bullying Programs

As reported in separate stories by Yadira Betances and Margo Sullivan in the New Hampshire Eagle Tribune, some middle schools are effectively implementing anti-bullying, anti-abuse programs.  The recent suicides of four teenage girls may stimulate a sense of urgency.  There are some differences in the programs to stop bullies, but both have the seven elements crucial to success. 1. The programs specify what acceptable and not acceptable behavior is General statements about respect and empathy are not enough.  These programs give graphic examples of many forms of harassment, bullying and abuse.  The unacceptable violence ranges from prejudicial put-downs and personally demeaning or mocking comments, to repeated acts of supposedly accidental tripping and shoving, to physical attacks.  The programs point out that bullies may act any where – on the school bus, by the lockers, in the lunchroom, in the playground and in classes.  In successful programs, the specific list of unacceptable behaviors evolves as new incidents arise.

2. Children are taught specifically what to do if they’re bullied or if they see someone being bullied Critical to the programs’ success is that kids stick up for other kids.  The kids always know who the habitual bullies are.  The principal, teachers and staff must also.  Ignorance is not an acceptable excuse.

3. The programs involve everyone School board members speak out against bullying and review and support the programs.  Principals and teachers are involved.  Administrative staff and bus drivers are trained and supported.  The adults set the tone: No bullying allowed.  The adults are proactive, not merely reactive.

Most heartening is the involvement of the students.  Kids lead the way in promoting the programs within their schools and in presenting it to other schools.  Education is on an emotional level that’s age and grade appropriate.  Fifth graders learn differently than seventh graders do.  Most kids are excited to know they’re important participants in the programs and they know they’ll be listened to, supported and protected by the adults.

Parental support is critical; especially a core group of parents dedicated to supporting the principal and teachers.

The programs and policies are public; everyone who works at the schools, every kid and every parent knows what the ground rules are.

4. Consequences are clear and action immediate Programs fail if repeat bullies are allowed to continue bullying during lengthy therapy and education processes.  The first task of the adults is to make the schools safe.  That often involves isolating or removing bullies rapidly.  Rehabilitating or converting habitual bullies takes second place.

5. Administrators, school principals and teachers are courageous Their moments of truth are when they have to face irate and bullying parents who defend their little terrorists by threatening to sue the principal and school for harassment.  That’s like in the Harry Potter series, when Lucius Malfoy protects his vicious son, Draco.

In order to survive those moments, principals need to have good documentation, staff needs to pool written reports and school district administrators need to back the program.  A good lawyer helps make staff’s efforts legal.

Critical to the programs’ success is a vocal group of parents supporting the principal’s actions.

6. Individual training of kids takes place at home Teach children not to bully to get what they want or to make themselves feel better.  Also teach them how to respond successfully to bullies; from learning to use verbal skills to learning how to fight back physically if necessary.  Face it; some bullies won’t stop until you beat them up.  Physical consequences for repeated physical actions are a good lesson for them as they grow up.  A child’s effective self-defense sends a different message to bullies than does any repeated beatings they might have gotten at home.

Successful self-defense also increases a child’s self-esteem and self-confidence, and is good preparation for the world children will face as adults.

7. All steps are done at the same time There is no one cause of bullying – like bad parents or uncaring teachers or cowardly principals or rotten kids – so programs won’t succeed if they focus on only one aspect of the problem.  Successful programs get everyone involved to stop behavior that affects everyone.  They work at the individual level, the classroom level, the school level and the district level.

Teen Suicides Should Lead to Anti-Bullying, Abuse School Programs

A rash of teen suicides (4 in the last six months) has alarmed a Schenectady, New York school district.  At least two of the suicides have been directly attributed to abuse and bullying, especially girl to girl harassment.  However, the school superintendent has been quoted as spreading the blame, “The community is also beginning to understand that these activities are embedded within neighborhoods and even in the homes across our city and across our country.”  He has also made the point that educators aren’t parents and that their influence and control are limited. I was interviewed by Steve Van Zandt and Jackie Donovan on their Daybreak program on Radio WROW in the Albany-Schenectady area.  Our focus was what the school district could and should do.  Steve and Jackie are great in presenting the issues and fielding calls.

Of course, the superintendent is right, but I’d like to see him step up and tell what part of the problem he’s going to attack with speed, intensity and determination.

First, he sounds like he’s leading a debate down the pathway of analyzing all the factors involved and describing the ones he might label as the most important.  He’s an “educator,” which means he’ll get stuck in “analysis paralysis.”

But he doesn’t have to analyze or solve the whole problem of teen abuse and bullying in society.  He simply has to take responsibility for the number one task of his school district and of each principal.  The number one task is not education, it’s safety and security.  Only when he can guarantee pretty good safety and security, can the principals and teachers in his district do their second task of education.

Second, he doesn’t have to continue analyzing what’s wrong at school, the kids know and each teacher, principal, administrative assistant and bus driver also should know.  One brave middle school student spoke up at a community meeting pleading, “Just help us.  We need help.”  The four suicides, all in the same high school should be a wake-up call to him.

The superintendent is also wasting the summer; his best opportunity to get programs developed and installed.  Summer is the best time to do the behind-the-scenes work to get an anti-bullying, anti-abuse campaign ready so they begin resolutely on the first day of school.  A few straightforward, but sometimes difficult steps are for the superintendent, principals and a core group of committed parents are to:

• Develop programs complete with detailed descriptions of what’s considered abuse, harassment and bullying, and with swift, firm processes to impose consequences including expulsion.
• Get support from teachers and staff.
• Get buy-in from the community and a majority of parents.
• Train teachers and staff in what to recognize and how to respond effectively.
• Kick the program off with the students when school starts.  Teach them what to do if they’re picked on or if they see bullying or abuse happen to someone else.  Teach them how to be bully-proof.

Notice that I haven’t said anything about educating, therapeutizing or rehabilitating bullies.  That succeeds only after anti-abuse, anti-bullying programs are implemented.

Wall plaques saying that students must respect each other are nice but ineffective by themselves.  A detailed program with clear consequences, implemented strategically, firmly and continually can solve 90% of the problems at school.  That’s the best that schools can do

Also, that would be teaching children and teenagers that the adult authorities will actually fulfill their responsibility.  New York may also need laws to force this superintendent to do his job.